How Emu Theatre Came To Be
a lightly fictionalised account of the creation of Emu Theatre

So one day we were standing around in a local leather bar, the Black Eagle, and our friend Tim, visiting from England, was talking to us about emus. Meanwhile the usual dance was going on around us ... "Are you noticing me?" "Don't look at me, I'm too good for you." "I really want to get laid, but not by you!" "I mustn't make eye contact with anyone!" "Are you noticing me not looking at you?"

As it turns out, emus are aggressive, but really really stupid, so although one may come up and try to intimidate you, you have only to hold your arm up and make a vaguely emu-shaped object, whereupon they think you're a bigger emu and run away.



#17: the Emu. The Emu lives in big rivers like the Amazon, has flippers for swimming and a long beak for eating honey.

Well, of course, it being a serious leather bar and all, we immediately launched into Emu SM Theatre. Dominant Emu shapes towered over the crowd saying On your knees boy! and You like that, don't you boy!

If we were being ignored before, now there was a visible circle of pariahhood forming around us.

"No, wait," someone said, "in here it's more like this ...", and he made the emu shape stare at Pierre and say,


Are you looking at me yet?
Are you watching me? then moved it right into his face


HEY YOU! LOOK AT ME DAMMIT!
HEY YOU! LOOK AT ME!! until Pierre had to back away to keep from being pecked in the nose. The emu turned around in a flash, muttering,


I am SOOOO Ignoring You
Good, 'cause I'm ignoring you.

Still there?
Are you noticing me ignoring you?



Since then Emu Theatre has taken off, with the discovery of characters like Bene Gesserit Emu (Ignoring You by Being Fictional), Mother Teresa Emu (Ignoring You by Being Dead), and the Blasé Backup Singer Emus (Ignoring You in Teams).
The Reverend Emu Jessica
Mother Teresa phoned. She ignores you.
The Emurelles.

Retailers have jumped on the bandwagon with such fine products as Emu® Sherry, Emu® Leather Lotion and Emu Oil soap.

A small collection of EMU Branded products.

West Side Ignoring You.